30 Mar Cool eye cue technique enhances communication skills
NLP eye cue accessing technique
Wouldn’t it be amazing if you knew how the person you are talking to is processing your conversation?
NLP eye accessing cues can provide an enormous amount of insight into someone’s preferred method of processing information.
NLP (Neuro-Lingustic Programming) was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970’s and is modeled on the gestalt therapies by Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson.
Though NLP is a controversial form of psychological therapy, it incorporates some interesting techniques that can assist in more effective methods of communication. Many of the techniques encourage becoming aware of various postures, behaviors and physical cues that clue one into a person’s internal mental process.
These are a few NLP techniques to better understand what exactly is going on inside the mind of that person you are talking to or observing.
If the person you are talking to is visually oriented, and “thinks” visually, they will look UP to the LEFT when they are visually recalling an experience or look UP to the RIGHT when they’re making visual constructs of what you are expressing. They are actually making images in their minds to process what you’re saying. An effective strategy for a visual person would be to describe scenes or imagine scenes together. Phrases like: “I see” or “Is this clear?” will improve communication.
An auditory person will look side to side at eye level. If they are looking to the LEFT sideways, they are recalling information and if they look to the RIGHT sideways they are audibly constructing new thought patterns. If someone’s eyes move from side to side, they are actively listening and interpreting your voice inflection and tone and prefer to process what they are “hearing” rather than what they are seeing or feeling. Using phrases like: “I hear you” or “How does that sound to you?” will be effective ways to access this person’s attention.
If someone is processing kinesthetically they will look DOWN to RIGHT. These types have greater access to utilizing their body, the five senses and touch. So phrases like: “I sense that,” “Did that touch you?” or simply “How do you feel?” will improve the rapport. If words fail for the auditory person, then a gentle and assuring pat on the back, touch on the arm or hand will trigger their awareness and attention.
An interesting eye cue, specifically looking DOWN to the LEFT, is referred to as accessing INTERNAL DIALOGUE. Internal dialogue indicates those habitual conversations we have with ourselves that are self-defeating, the chattering “monkey-mind” people who meditate refer to or simply the way we “beat ourselves up.” If someone is looking DOWN-LEFT, they are generally accessing more and more unconscious mental states that are harder to snap out of.
Most people will generally look up when you are describing a scene whether they are visually oriented or not. They will also look side to side to process a sound cue and look down when accessing one’s feelings. But, after observing a person for a while, when in conversation, one of these modes of processing will predominate.
So, if you know they are visually oriented; you can talk to them by weaving images. If they are auditory, you may adjust your tone of voice. Finally, if they are physical or kinesthetic, you can adjust the conversation towards references to the five senses, to how they felt or just plain old give them a pat on the back or hold their hand.
? These are very basic NLP techniques.
? NLP has more complex documented cues to interpret thinking processes.
? These eye cue directions may differ for a left-handed person.
Books and resources available to further your studies of NLP:
My Voice Will Go With You: The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson, M.D.
By Sidney Rosen
Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming
By Richard Bandler
Managing with the Power of NLP: Neurolinguistic Programming; A Model for Better Management (2nd Edition)
By David Molden
For more info:
NLP Training in NYC:
NLP Center of New York
NLP and Hypnosis training centers, offering NLP and Hypnosis Practitioner certification courses and coaching and located in the heart of New York City (Greenwich Village, Manhattan).