01 Jan Neville Goddard Lectures: “The Mystery Hidden for Ages”

4/21/64

Tonight’s subject was taken from Paul’s letters: “The Mystery Hidden for Ages and Generations.” Then he tells us what the mystery is. He tells us the mystery is “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:26). Well, through the years, through the centuries, man is taught to believe that Christ is something other than himself. He’s been taught all kinds of things about Jesus Christ. Yet the author of this book, in another work, defines Jesus Christ as the creative power and wisdom of God. You’ll read this in his letter, his first letter to the Corinthians: “Christ the power and the wisdom of God” (verse24). Well, what is one’s power? What is one’s wisdom? I tell you, it’s your own wonderful human Imagination. That’s your power, that’s your wisdom. We are told, “All things were created by him and without him was not anything made that was made” (John 1:3). The Bible recognizes only one source of dreams and that one source they call God. And Paul calls God’s creative power, Jesus Christ.

This morning’s mail brought me two very interesting letters. One is too long to discuss tonight, but I’ll just give you just the end of it. She said, “I had a vision. I saw before me the Bible, bound in maroon, and on it I saw the titles; and the first was ‘The Way’ and then ‘The Story of ___(??),’ and then ‘The Bible’…all three on the book. Then, a few days later, the visions returned, this time with a single title, it was the Bible, and it was titled ‘Adventures of Me’; the whole book ‘Adventures of Me.’” I wish I could tell you about the letter but there are four very large, very closely spaced, typewritten pages, so I can’t discuss it tonight. But it’s perfectly marvelous.

Another came, and this gentleman said it suddenly came to him that the purpose of life is simply to learn how to create. Well, I couldn’t agree with him more to that. That’s exactly what the purpose of life is, to learn how to create. Now, you listen to this point that he drove home. He said it was the most thrilling thing to him! He said, “There’s a world of difference between using creative power to achieve certain goals, and using goals to develop creative power.” You dwell upon it. One is man; the other is God. God took death…the whole vast world was dead…he took death as a challenge and turned death into sleep, and sleep into his own being that is a creator. Infinite mercy: That is, God turned death into sleep. And then he gradually turned this sleeping being who dreams (if you are asleep you dream) so he turned death into sleep; and then the horror, the despair, the everything in this world; and finally he awakens the sleeper; and the sleeper is himself, the creator. That was his challenge. So he took a goal to develop further his own creative power.

But we are allowed while we are here to use our creative power to achieve a specific end… perfectly alright. But there is a wide difference, a world of difference, between using creative power to achieve a definite end and using an end to develop this creative power, all the difference in the world. So it fired him as a creative artist and he shared it with me that I, in turn, may share it with you. And it is, really, all the difference in the world. So you can take a goal this night and if you want to have a home or a bigger home, more money, more of everything in this world, you can do it. That is, you take your creative power and use it towards the achieving of a definite end; that is the dreamer working. Then you take an “end” and use it to develop creative power, that’s God in operation. And God took it by taking death…he took death and God himself entered death’s door; and laid down in the grave of death which was man; and then began the wonderful dream while encased in death, confident that his predetermined plan would have to be fulfilled. His predetermined plan is the mystery of the Bible. The whole vast Bible is about this mystery; the gospel is the mystery, the whole Bible is the mystery.

Now let us take just pieces of it, because you can’t cover it in any one evening. We couldn’t cover it in a year. There are sixty-six books in the Bible. Any one would exhaust the year, and there are sixty-six. But we’ll take pieces of it, because we are told that those who studied it carefully, they sought and sought and sought, and they could not find in him the Christ of whom they wrote and whose coming they foretold, they couldn’t find him. So they enquired what person or what time was indicated by the spirit of prophesy within them, called the spirit of Christ, when indicating the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glory (1Pet. 1:11). They couldn’t find him. It’s all promised in scripture, but they couldn’t find him. They were looking elsewhere; they were looking for something on the outside. No one suspected that the thing prophesied was coming from the inside. That Jesus Christ foretold in scripture…not by the name Jesus but the name Jehovah, for Jehovah is “the Savior of the world.” But the word Jesus means “Jehovah saves,” that’s what it means. So no one thought in terms of something coming from the inside. They didn’t know that God himself entered death’s door and laid down in the grave of man, confident that his purpose would be realized; that he would transform death into sleep; and a dream would start, a horrible dream, the dream of confusion, the dream of war, conflict, the most horrible dream in the world. But gradually he would transform this dreamer, and then awaken him, and he would be God. So the whole thing is simply God.

Now, what are we told are the signs? They’re all signs. There are signs to watch for when the dreamer begins to awake, definite signs. The promise is made in the 15th chapter of the Book of Genesis. But we are told even to this very day when Moses is read a veil lies over their minds. Now, you might say that was written 2,000 years ago. It’s the same thing today, our scholars are no nearer to this picture than they were 2,000 years ago. They’re still trying to rationalize God’s picture. You can’t rationalize it; it’s a mystery. So when Moses is read a veil lies over their minds, because in the 15th chapter of the Book of Genesis the promise was made and it was unconditional. It was not a covenant between two where one could violate it and break the contract. It was unconditional. God made a promise, but no one understood the nature of that promise. It was made seemingly to an old man. He was an hundred years old and the promise was: You will have a son. Your present son, which is completely denied in scripture, will not inherit your kingdom; but you will have a son—-it’s not yet born—-you’ll have one and he will be your heir.

But he was then an old man, a hundred years old. Well, no one knew the symbolism of a hundred, that it was “the back of the skull.” The letter is Qoph and the numerical value is a hundred. So it was told to him when he was a hundred that he would have a son—-it would come from his skull. But it isn’t spelled out. This is a mystery, you don’t spell it out. So when the question was asked, “Why do you speak in parables?” he said, “Unto you it is given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God, but to those who are without it is in parable” (Mark 4:11). So this is a parable, this is the dream of God, where he dreams into being his plan of salvation for every being in this world, but every being. So everyone will be seemingly old. He now painted a fantastic journey, a journey into a land that is a strange land where he will be enslaved, he’ll be ill-treated; but the promise is: At the end you’ll be brought out and you’ll be heir to a fabulous kingdom. He didn’t know what that kingdom was. The kingdom, may I tell you, you fall heir not only to a kingdom but to a presence, and the presence is the kingdom: You inherit God. So we are told, “They should have no inheritance; I am their inheritance: they shall have no possession; I am their possession” (Ezekiel 44:28). You inherit God! He became you and gave himself to you; and finally, after this fantastic journey of a horrible dream you awaken as God. You inherit God and you possess God. God is all creation; God is the creator of it all.

So when my friend writes me this wonderful letter, I want to thank you, because it is true. Let me share it with you: “There is a wide, wide difference, a vast difference, between using this creative power to achieve a specific end and using an end to develop this creative power.” So you can take the most stubborn thing in this world as an end and then use it to develop your power. And gradually something begins to awake within you, and the child is born. So here, we are told a child will be born. It is called Isaac meaning “he laughs” is what it really means. When you look at it, if you’re a scholar or any person in the world, you’ll simply ignore it and yet the thing is literally true. It’s exactly like that when it happens. When it happens to you it happens suddenly, in an unknown room, a guest room in an unregarded inn. He comes ___(??) into the world, to signify the coming of the awakening of God in you. God begins to awaken in you. He told you the first sign that he would give you is that of a child—his name is Isaac. He will come unnoticed into this unobserved guest room in an inn that has no value whatsoever. He’ll come just like that. When suddenly he awakens within you and comes, as far as I’m concerned just as you’re told in scripture, just like a thief in the night, unobserved, unexpected. It wasn’t expected this night. It comes so quietly and it comes so within you that that’s not the way you expected Messiah to come, he doesn’t come that way. But he comes that way.

And so, God awakens in man as man’s own wonderful human Imagination, and that is Jesus Christ. There is no other Jesus Christ. He awakens in man and when he does, other signs will follow to show you that God is one and his name one. As we are told, “He will be king over all the earth; and his name will be one and the Lord is one” (Zech. 14:09). If he is a king and he has a son, the son should be a prince, shouldn’t he? Now listen to the words: “I will raise up David.” I will make him a prince among men. “I will make him a prince forever.” That’s what we’re told in the 34th and 37th chapters of the Book of Ezekiel, I’ll raise him up. Well, if David who is now dead is raised up, isn’t that now alluding to the resurrection of the historic David? May I tell you, it is exactly like that, for when he is raised up—there are unnumbered thousands of David’s in the world—when you look into David’s eyes there is only one David that you know and he is the historic David, the David of biblical fame. But he’s not king, he’s prince. You are told, “I’ll make you a prince forever”…for you are king. “For, the Lord will become king over all the earth; and the Lord will be one and his name one.” For if he is your son he’s prince, for you are king, Lord over all the earth and your name is one.

So one by one it happens. So in the end there’s only one man and his name is Jesus Christ. It seems a fantastic story…only one man. But contracting our infinite senses we behold multitudes, nations, unnumbered nations; expanding, we behold one man. So in the story of Paul…and Jesus appeared, and Paul beheld the Lord and saw his form, the form of a man; then, as a man, a man conversed with man in ages of eternity. He beheld Jesus and called him “the Lord,” and then he saw his form, and the form was man. Jesus is simply universal humanity. Everyone that awakens is Jesus Christ. There’s only Jesus Christ. We go back to the story: “I tell you a mystery, a mystery hidden for ages and generations…Christ in you the hope of glory” (Col. 1:26-27). Not Christ outside; Christ in you is the hope of glory. I tell you a mystery, he said, “Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of our religion” (1Tim. 3:16). It’s a mystery, something not to be concealed but something that is very mysterious in character. How could one man contain all of humanity? And yet I speak from experience—it’s true: One man contains the whole.

The day will come that you will be absorbed, embraced by Jesus Christ; and at that very moment you are forever Jesus Christ because you wear his body of love. It’s only love, nothing but love, and so you feel infinite love. And you’re never divorced from it. But there’s work to be done, and so you are sent to tell the story of love: How God became man that man may become God. And so, in that moment of being sent there are pains to be suffered, to be endured, disappointments, all kinds of things; but never for a moment do you entertain the thought you are ever separated from the body that incorporated you into it. You’re one with the body of Jesus Christ, it’s your body, and in the end all will wear the same body. That body is the body of love. Then we’ll understand Blake’s vision of it: “Mercy, Pity, Peace and Love is God, our father dear, and Mercy, Pity, Peace and Love is Man, his child and care. For Mercy has the human heart, and Pity a human face, and Love, the human form divine, and Peace, the human breast” (Blake, The Divine Image). This is how the Divine Man is clothed. In the end everyone is completely incorporated into the body of God; and that name, for his name is one, is Jesus Christ.

But if you are taught to believe that Jesus Christ is a unique little individual born 2,000 years ago, and that’s it, something set apart, you don’t know the mystery of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the creative power of God, and God is all love. The creative power of God he gives to man; therefore, what does he give man when he gives power to man? The power that God gives to man is the power of his own love. I saw it so clearly in my experience, that only to the degree that man can really fall in love can he really exercise true power. And this is creative power. And so, this friend who writes this letter to me is perfectly right. It came to him like a bolt out of the blue. He said, “This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me: that the purpose of life is to learn how to create.” This is educative darkness…it’s to learn how to create, how to create imaginatively. Then he saw that wide distinction between man’s use of the creative power and God’s use. Man uses it…perfectly alright, use it that way, take a definite goal and use your creative power which is your Imagination to achieve that goal. That’s man’s use of it.

God’s use of the same power is to see a goal and not to use it to achieve that goal, just that goal to develop his creative power. He took the limit of contraction which is death and then took that as a challenge to develop his creative power beyond whatever it was when he conceived this fantastic play in four acts, because there is no limit to the expansion of the creative power of God. When people speak of absolutes, I don’t go for it. There is no absolute, because there’s always an expansion of the creative power of God, always an expansion of translucency. There is a limit to contraction, yes, but not a limit to expansion; a limit to opacity, but not a limit to translucence. Therefore, it must ever be expanding in this world. And so, the creative power took the limit upon himself and the limit is man and man was dead. Took the very limit upon itself which was opacity; that is called in scripture, Satan. Took the limit of opacity and then broke through with his creative power; transformed death, first of all, into sleep; and then to awaken the sleeper as himself; and make God.

So this is this great mystery as told us in scripture. And Paul uses the word no less than eighteen times, all through his letters he’s always referring to the mystery of Christ. So when you read the story of Christ you may think there’s no mystery attached to it. One came into this world born unnaturally, and you’re told he was born without a father. Don’t believe it! He was born without a mother. He was born of a father who became the one he would form in this world. In the 13th verse of the first chapter of John, speaking of this unusual birth: “He was born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” He was not born in any physical way whatsoever. He was born of God, out of a grave called the skull of man where God himself entered and laid down in the grave of man which is the skull of man. And then he came out of that as man, and you are he.

But you cannot realize your divine inheritance so long as you are still wearing this garment for educative purposes to tell the story to everyone who will hear it. So while you walk still clothed in flesh and blood, you cannot fully realize your inheritance, for your inheritance is God. “They should have no inheritance; I am their inheritance. They should have no possession; I am their possession.” So when you inherit the kingdom, you inherit God, for you inherit all the creative power of the world. What do you need with something that is already created when you can create forever and forever? And there’s no need of holding onto anything, because you are a creator. You inherit creativity when you inherit God. So they should have no…read it in Ezekiel…“They should have no inheritance; I am their inheritance. Give them no possession; I am their possession” (Ezek. 44:28). So everyone possesses God, inherits God.

So this is the story of the great mystery of Christ in you who is the hope of glory. So the day will come that you will know that you and I are one, because he gives us the prince. He shall be a prince forever, and he shall be among all a prince. Now in this world of man we think of a prince, say, of some lands of the world who still have princes; and they speak of him as the prince of the land, and the people might refer to him, if they don’t understand any better, “their prince.” No, in this case, he is the son of God, because God is king, and a prince would be the king’s son. “And the Lord will become king over all of the earth. On that day his name will be one, and the Lord one.” So we’re all being absorbed into one body, and, may I tell you, I have seen it. When your vision is contracted, you see the whole vast world as nations, and when it is expanded you only see one man. May I tell you who that one man is? You are! You look at him, you can’t…well, it’s the most thrilling sight in the world! You contain the whole of humanity, the whole vast world contained within one man when your infinite senses are expanded.

So when my friend wrote this letter, I thought of Blake in his early part of Jerusalem, he said, “I must cerate a system or be enslaved by another man. I will not reason and compare. My business is to create.” That’s the business of everyone who awakens in this world: to create. I will not compare, I will not reason what they did, I will simply create. And so, I must create my own system of creativity. There are infinite aspects of how you use this power to create. And so, he is perfectly right, that the purpose of life is to learn how to create. That’s why I ask you night after night to share with me one little aspect that you discovered that you actually use…how you created it. Whether it be from the male, I mean, the man’s side or God’s side. So you wanted a home, what did you do? Did you irritate yourself to possess a home or to dispose of a home? How did you do it? Share it with me that I may share it with others. What did you do? Because this is creativity and there are infinite facets of this power of creation. And the power of creation is Jesus Christ, it’s the only Jesus Christ in the world, and that is your own wonderful human Imagination.

And so, this mystery that has been hidden for ages and generations and now revealed to man, it is called in scripture, “Christ in you the hope of glory.” The hope of glory! Now listen to the words: “And now, Father, return unto me the glory that was mine, the glory that I had with thee before that the world was” (John 17:5). He’s asking for a glory. What glory? How does God give glory to you when you awake?—he gives himself. Listen to the words, “A son honors his father. If I then am a father, where is my honor?” Where is my honor? A son honors his father—-this is the last book of the Old Testament, the Book of Malachi, the very first chapter—-“a son honors his father” (verse 6). Well, if I am a father, where is my honor, where is my son? For the son honors the father. Bring me my prince that I may know that I am king. And so, “The Lord will become king over all the earth.” Well then, if this is really true, and you really succeeded in giving me yourself and you are king, and you are Lord, and you are father, then where is my son?

And then he brings the son. Then he brings the son by an explosion. For you are told in this 34th chapter, he’s going to raise up David. Now if you read Ezekiel and you take it chronologically, David is dead; therefore, if I’m going to raise up David, I’m going to raise David and resurrect David from the grave, am I not? So you are going to resurrect David from the grave. Where is the grave?—-my skull where I experience it. The whole thing takes place in my skull; the whole drama takes place in me. So he picks David and he brings David out of my skull. I felt it; I felt the explosion when he raised him up. And then there was no doubt in my mind when I saw David, the David; the David of biblical fame. Not just a David, the David. I have two nephews and a nephew’s son who are called David. In fact, in our family I think there are all kinds of David’s. And in my circle of friends, my friend who brings me here every week he is David. I have so many friends…it a marvelous name. But when you meet this David, the David, there is no doubt in your mind when you look into his face that he is the prince, the Son of God, and he calls you, Father. You have no doubt you are his father and he is your son.

So he will raise up David to be a prince among men. As he raises up David, he automatically reveals that he has succeeded in his purpose, which was to give himself to you. So in the end, everyone will have the experience. And therefore it can only be one man, and that one man has one name, and his name is Jesus Christ. You are Jesus Christ as these things unfold within you, for they unfold as a pattern that he hid within Christ, as you are told, according to his purpose, which he planned in Christ before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1:9). He planned it and he hid it as a plan in Christ before the foundation of the world. So then the whole thing unfolds like a scene.

So this is the great mystery of life through death. He took the challenge to take death, turn it into sleep, and then after the dreamer dreams the dream of life, awakens the dreamer, and the dreamer is himself. Then by this act, this creative act, God has expanded beyond what he was when he created this fabulous universe. There is no limit to the expansion of the creative power of God. I can’t conceive of anything more stale than an absolute. There would be no challenge, no challenge whatsoever. In this world of ours, courtships, love affairs, these are challenges, aren’t they? You go into business, that’s a challenge—there’s no assurance that you’re going to succeed. When you meet her for the first time or you meet him for the first time, there’s no assurance that this is going to culminate in a romance. It could, but you don’t know. That’s your challenge. So everything is a challenge in the world. And the whole vast world is a challenge for God. Were it not so, it would be horrible. You mean the whole thing has to be cut and dried because he’s absolute? No. So you go back, and let me once more quote the words of my friend that there is a world of difference between using creative power to achieve a definite goal and using a goal to develop creative power. You dwell upon it, you just meditate upon it. It’s all the difference in the world.

So I’m not minimizing the use of it from the side of man, we’re man. We’re living in this world and limited in our exercise of this power. So use it on this level. But don’t for one moment neglect to contemplate and to meditate the other use of it, because you’re moving towards that point where you are God. For you’re going to, tomorrow, not just build a home or more homes, you’re going to take the ultimate challenge as you will see it. And tomorrow, as the poet said, “Be patient, our playwright will write in some fifth act and explain to us in some fifth act what this wild drama means.” So be patient. In the meanwhile, listen to these words of Blake: “And in great eternity, those who contemplate on death said thus, What seems to be, Is, to those to whom it seems to be, and is productive of the most dreadful consequences to those to whom it seems to be, even of torments, despair, eternal death; but Divine Mercy steps beyond and redeems man in the Body of Jesus” (Jerusalem, Plt.36, Ln.50).

Everyone by exercising his talent on the level of man is creating worlds, destroying worlds, conquering nations; and so it’s sheer torture and despair. But at a certain moment of his exercise of talent, Divine Mercy steps beyond and redeems him in the body of Jesus; for divine mercy is Jesus Christ himself. And he incorporates you into his body, and from then on you’re one with and you are Jesus Christ. So all of your sins have been washed white, all of your sins have been forgiven, everything you did in the exercise of your talent on the level of man. And so, you use it on the level of man, and then, while you’re maybe going wild in the use of it or misuse of it, divine mercy steps beyond and redeems man in the body of Jesus. So everyone will be, and consciously so, Jesus Christ.

So this is the mystery hidden for ages and generations: Christ in you who is the hope of glory; and the glory is you wear the body. It’s your body—no little piece of it, it’s the whole thing. It’s your body; you contain the whole of humanity. All of humanity will be contained within the body, and it’s your body, and you wear it, and it’s a man. That seems mad, but it’s true. Then your senses will be extended and expanded, and you only see a man. When they are contracted as we are to the limit of opacity and contraction, we see multitudes of nations. I saw it so clearly, I saw the whole vast thing as a man. And then, contracted senses, and it broke into unnumbered and fragmented pieces; and then nations appeared and all the parts of nations. Then, an expansion of my infinite senses, and then all the nations formed one man. And that man is infinite love. That man embraced me when I answered correctly, “The greatest thing in the world which is love.” Because I answered that way, he embraced me and incorporated me into his body; and then sent me to tell the story, but not with any loss of what happened to me, as a part forever of the body and wearing the whole body. It is the body I wear when this thing drops and they say he’s gone and he’s dead. But death then is swallowed up in the victory that is ___(??) because I have that body. It’s my body, it’s your body, because in that body, whether you know it or not, we now live and move and have our being. But tomorrow you’ll consciously wear that body, and it is the body called Jesus Christ.

Now let us go into the Silence.

* * *

___(??)book table you’ll find Living Time there. ___(??) books that you ordered. I’m quite sure that they’ve been received by now. Jack told me last week that you ordered some books, that some of them had arrived. So if you ordered a book, just stop by and ask if it is there. Meanwhile, look it over and Nicoll’s Living Time may I recommend. It’s a perfectly wonderful book. Now are there any questions, please?

Q: What is the translated meaning of the word “David”?

A: David is “the beloved.” It’s “the door.” He said, “I am the door”; Daleth Vau Daleth; “the beloved”, really. Read the 7th verse of the 2nd Psalm, it’s told so perfectly where it is addressed to David: “Thou art my son, today I have begotten thee.” These words are addressed to David, the Son of God, God’s gift of himself to man; for when he succeeds in giving himself to you, you become the father of David. Because in that 2nd Psalm it is addressed to David, “Thou art my son, today I have begotten thee.” And so, then David appears in your world, and when he appears, he’ll come right out of your skull. Let no one disturb you, if you drop this night in the eyes of man and you’re no more in the eyes of man here, you still haven’t ceased to be. The skull of which I speak isn’t physical. We must spiritualize the mission of David, and it is in that spiritual you that David is contained. He will one day come out. Whether this body drops now, is consigned to the flames or not, there you will see David. And he’s just as he’s described in the Book of Samuel, he’s beyond description as to beauty. Sheer majesty stands before you. There is no uncertainty in you as to who he is and the relationship: It’s David of biblical fame, and he’s your son. Because he’s your son, and I know already he is my son, then you and I are one. This is the grand unity spoken of in the 17th of John: That they be one as we are one; I dwell in them and they dwell in me…and my prayer is that they be one (verses 5,11), He’s praying for the unity of mankind where all become the Father; and if we are all the one Father, the Father can’t be a father without a child, and that child is David. So all become the Father of the one; and therefore the joy when the whole play is over and the curtain rings down upon this fantastic drama; and God has succeeded in his purpose to expand his creative power beyond what it was when he determined to transform death, and convert it into a sleep; and then the sleep into life itself, awaking life.

Any other questions, please?

Q: Neville, is there any recognizable point between that death and sleep? We know the waking point, but the sleep point and the death point?

A: My dear, I don’t really think I could answer that. I know that we all seem so much alive and so awake…and one’s dream would tell you…you’ll have an experience, say, of this nature. Suppose I would share with you an experience of mine…so that you know that certain things are different. You’re out, but you don’t know that you are out because you are conscious, you’re alive. You’re still bearing the same name, whatever your name is, that’s your name. So Lucille is the name…and you’re out. But memory is serving you a very good purpose and showing you these things are not normal. What are taking place here do not normally take place, you know that. But as far as you are concerned you’re alive and as real as you’ve ever been to yourself before, but things are a little bit different. You say to yourself, “Maybe I’m dreaming.” But reason tells you, you are not dreaming. This is too real, this can’t be a dream because you can stop and rationalize, and do things, and argue with people. And so, as you begin to wonder and think you’re dreaming reason steps in and says you’re not dreaming. But yet strange things are happening that do not normally happen in this world. Then you say to yourself, “Well, maybe I’m dead, maybe this is an afterlife state. I’ll go to Jim and ask Jim if I died.” And then you will say to yourself (I’m speaking from experience) and you’ll say to yourself, “Well, this is irrational, I couldn’t talk to Jim. Were I dead I couldn’t communicate, because I couldn’t ask him if he buried me.” And so at that moment you’ll say to yourself, “Come on, Lucille, wake up!” This is a fantastic reality, how are you going to awake from this reality? And it’s going to be a terrific struggle, may I tell you, but you’ll do it. You’ll feel yourself tearing yourself apart to wake from this very, very real state to find yourself once more on the bed in this world. No one ___(??) thoughts occupy you after that. How the devil am I going to wake up from this one, because this is solidly real, that’s solidly real, and it took a tremendous struggle to awake from that into this? But you will know when you come back that this that seemingly is more rational and more stable, that things have continuity, how am I going to awake from this?

Goodnight.