13 Sep Neville’s Awakening “Birthday” at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel San Francisco (July 20, 1959)
Neville had his awakening experience or what he referred to as his “birthday” at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel in San Francisco on July 20, 1959.
The Sir Francis Drake Hotel
The Sir Francis Drake Hotel is a historic 416-room hotel, opened in 1928, in San Francisco, California. It is located at the corner of Sutter and Powell Streets adjacent to Union Square.
The Sir Francis Drake Hotel was named after the English explorer who, in 1579, narrowly missed discovering San Francisco Bay and instead sailed the Golden Hind into Drakes Bay 28 miles north. At the time described as “The last word in hotels” for innovations and amenities such as an indoor golf course, ice water on tap, and radios in every guest room. Another feature was the Servidor, a panel in the guest room doors which allowed staff to deliver dry cleaning and other items without disturbing guests.
After the stock market crash in 1929, the hotel still prospered, attracting Hollywood luminaries like Dolores del Río, Myrna Loy, Barbara Stanwyck and the “Our Gang” child actors, as well as dance troupes and vaudeville players. Prohibition was repealed in 1933 and in 1936, the hotel opened the Parisian Room, a supper club on the street level that became a popular San Francisco nightspot featuring dancing, dramatic lighting and murals.
Neville Goddard Lectures: “The Birth Of The Babe” (09-8-1959)
When I left two months ago I asked you to join in testing with me what I have heard and told you, but now I can say as did Job (42:5) “I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eyes seeth thee.” Tonight as I stand here I can say what he said centuries ago. When I left I had heard of this principle and I had proved it but I had not seen it; but now I have seen it so I can stand here and tell you something I could not have told you two months ago.
I want to share with you an experience I had on the morning of July 20 in San Francisco
On the morning of July 20, I was in San Francisco, a city named after a saint, and I was living in a hotel named after a pirate . . the Sir Francis Drake. At four o’clock in the morning, a most wonderful dream was interrupted. I was dreaming of tomorrow’s man, where all the arts flourished, when instead of just hearing music, you could see it forming into beautiful patterns. I was “freezing” this, when it was interrupted by the most terrific vibration within my skull, at the base. This intensity increased and increased, but instead of being catapulted into space, I am being squeezed out of this body inch by inch, and I find myself with my head on the floor, and I literally pulled myself out through this skull, and then I am having a few moments of rest, and I look back at this bed and I see myself there like someone in a recovery room coming out of an anesthetic, my head moving from side to side. I remember my wife doing this after the birth of our child when she was not yet fully conscious . . that sideways movement of the head, over and over. And then I heard the whole vibration again and now it is coming from the corner of the room. I thought it might be the wind and for a moment I contemplated that. And then I looked toward the bed where this body had been. There was no body, but in its place were my three oldest brothers. My brother Cecil was at the head, my brother Victor at the left foot, and my brother who is a doctor at the right foot. They were very disturbed by this vibration, but the most disturbed is my brother the doctor. He went over to the window and then he stood looking down and I saw something on the floor and he said, “It’s Neville’s baby!” and the others said, “How could he have a baby?” But I lifted a baby from the floor, wrapped it in swaddling clothes and I held it in my arms and said, “How is my sweetheart?” and then it smiled at me and I awoke.
We are all, “the prodigal son”, we spent everything, every vision, for I cannot wait to tell each of them when they happen. I could not wait for this night to tell you this. My first night in San Francisco I could not wait to tell my audience. Someone, after the meeting, who was an authority on masters, adepts and such, said, “How silly! He talked about having a baby!”
Today is the eleventh year since it happened to me right here in this city, right across the way at the hotel with the star at the top of the roof, the Sir Francis Drake, on the 20th day of July 1959. It was then that I, at 4:00 in the morning, felt within my head the most intense vibration, and I thought, this is a brain hemorrhage, and this is it. I knew nothing of the human form, and I thought I cannot possible survive what I am feeling; so this must be what they call a massive brain hemorrhage. But instead of departing this world, I awoke to find myself within my own skull; and I knew that I was entombed completely within my own skull. I was fully awake, as I’ve never been awake before, and here I am sealed . . the skull is sealed, and I AM in it. The skull is not a little thing like this (indicating the head). It’s the size of a huge, big sepulcher, and I knew it to be my skull. I also know intuitively that I could get out by pushing the base of my skull. As I pushed it, a stone rolled away, and I saw the little opening, and I put my head through it and pushed; and I came out, inch by inch, just as a child is born from the mother’s womb. But instead of being born from below of flesh and blood, I was “born from above” out of the skull . . Golgotha, where Christ was buried. But it was not another coming out, . . I am coming out. There was no other. I had no companion in that skull. I myself was there, and I came out. And when I looked back at the body out of which I came, it was ghastly pale, turning its head from side to side like one in recovery from a great ordeal. I stood up and looked at it, and then suddenly I heard this strange, strange wind . . this unearthly wind that I had heard in the tomb within my head, . . well now, it seemed to be divided and coming from the corner of the room.
As I looked over to see if it really came from that side, and I looked back three or four seconds later the body had been removed. There is no body; but in its place sat my three older brothers. My eldest sat where the head was, my second one sat where the right foot was, and the third one sat where the left foot was; and they heart this same unearthly wind. They couldn’t see me. I not only saw them, I could read their thoughts as I could read my own. Their thoughts all were objective to me. Everything was objective. They couldn’t have an emotion that wasn’t objective. They couldn’t have a thought that wasn’t objective. And yet, I heard their voices.
And then my brother Lawrence got off the bed and started towards the same direction that I thought this wind originated . . this peculiar wind. As he took one or two steps, he said, “Why, it’s Neville’s baby. This is the cause of this peculiar, unearthly wind.”
My brother Victor and my brother Cecil, they said, “How can Neville have a baby?”
He didn’t argue the point. He lifted from the floor a little infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and brought it and placed it on the bed; and I took that infant up into my arms, and as I looked into its face and said, “How is my sweetheart,” this little heavenly face broke into the most glorious smile; and then the whole scene dissolved.
There was the resurrection from the dead, followed by the “birth from above.” So we are “born from above,” as told us in the Book of Peter. “We are born anew through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” (First Peter 1:3) There is only one Being resurrected, the Being who descended into man; and that is Jesus Christ. He descended into man, the power of God and the wisdom of God, and united with man; and when they became one and fulfilled the destiny of that Being, only He now wakes as you. And so, you awake as the Lord Jesus Christ, without loss of identity.
So eleven years ago on the 20th day of July, back in 1959 here in this city, that drama took place within me. So it is my birthday today in a spiritual sense. The little body that now stands before you, that came in the year 1905. It will depart and turn into dust; but that which awoke within me is the Immortal Self that cannot die. And those who have not had the experience, that Immortal Self is still there, and it cannot die. You will be restored to life in a world just like this to continue the drama until that experience that I’ve just told you takes place within you.
Twelve years ago today in this City, across the way at the Hotel Sir Francis Drake, that mystery began to unfold in me. I retired quite early, having read a bit of the Bible, a bit of William Blake, and then retired. I made a call to my wife and daughter, who were then in Beverly Hills, and then turned in, in a very normal manner. Then at about 4:15 in the morning a vibration that was the most intense thing that I’ve ever experienced began in my head. It was an earthquake, plus a storm! I felt that every bone in my skull was coming apart. I entertained the thought, not knowing anything of the human form . . I am not a doctor, so I knew nothing of what a cerebral hemorrhage would be, but I thought for a moment, “This must be it. It must be a massive cerebral stroke, and maybe this is my departure from this world.” That was the feeling I had . . the thing was so intense!
But this is what happened: instead of being one who departed the world, I began to awake. At the moment, I thought I would awake as I had awakened for 50-odd years of my life. Now this was 1959, twelve years ago. But as I awoke, I awoke within my skull, and I knew, as I woke within my skull, that my skull was a sepulcher. It was a tomb, and I am alone! And my skull was sealed, there was no opening, a completely sealed tomb . . sepulcher. I had one consuming desire, and that was to get out. I intuitively knew that if I would push at the base of my skull that something would give. I pushed the base of my skull from within, and something gave . . rolled away. Then I stuck my head through that opening and pushed, and I pushed and pushed, and I came out inch. . by-inch-by inch, just as a child comes out of the womb of a woman, only this exit was out of my skull! And when I was almost out, I pulled the remaining portion of my body out of my skull.
Now a peculiar, unearthly wind began, and I thought it was coming from the corner of the room. I looked over where I thought it originated. I hadn’t turned away more than a matter of seconds. The wind was in my head, and it was also coming from the corner of the room. When I turned back to where the body was, the body was gone, but in its place sat my three older brothers. The oldest sat where the head was, the second one sat where the right foot was, and the third one sat where the left foot was. They, too, were disturbed. They could not see me . . and I will tell you why later. I could see them and hear their thoughts. Every thought was objective to me. I heard their voices. I heard their discussion about the wind.
And my brother Lawrence, the first one . . he got off the bed and started towards the same direction where I thought this storm originated. He hadn’t gone more than, say, two feet when his attention was attracted to something on the floor. And looking down, he announced this . . he said, “Why, it is Neville’s baby!” My other two brothers, Cecil and Victor, in the most incredulous voices asked, “How can Neville have a baby!” He did not argue the point. He stooped over and lifted the evidence from the floor, and here was a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes. He brought it towards the bed, and laid it on the bed. Then I lifted that little infant in my arms, and looking into its face, I asked the little child, “How is my sweetheart?” It broke into the most heavenly smile, almost to a laugh, and then the whole scene dissolved.
A Lady: [The question is inaudible on the recording.]
Neville: My dear, this is something so unlike anything I had ever experienced before . . I have had many mystical experiences and many wonderful visions, but this came so suddenly, so unexpectedly. Certainly, I did not expect it. But I did not realize how literally true, on a higher level, the Gospel story is! Your head is simply like an earthquake. I’ve gone through two very severe earthquakes in Southern California: the one in ’52 that registered 7.5, and the recent one registering 6.2. The whole house just kept shaking; we had hundreds of aftershocks. That was an intense one. But this all takes place in your head. It is all in your head, and you feel as if every bone were going to fly apart. But instead of that, you simply begin to awake. And unlike all the other waking states preceding it over the years that you have lived, you wake to find yourself, not on your bed where you fell asleep the night before, but you wake to find yourself in your skull. And your skull is quite a large area, and you are not a diminutive little thing like a miniature; you are simply your normal size, and you rise in your head. And you have the consuming desire to get out, but you have an innate wisdom of how to do it, and you do it. And just as you are told in Scripture, “And the stone was rolled away,” (Mark 16:4) but you roll it away. But it is a peculiar, unearthly sensation and a peculiar, unearthly wind. It is a storm wind all right, but it is something that is different, and when it happens, as the poet said:
“All was foretold me: naught Could I foresee!
But I learned how the wind would sound After these things should be.”
. . Edward Thomas . . Now, Robert Browning, in his poem called “Saul” . . he was inspired to write it by the 12th chapter of the book of I Samuel, and he has David say to Saul, because Saul was insane . . he had lost his memory. He suffered from amnesia. He did not know one from the other, and in this poem, David is telling Saul of the coming of Messiah, and these are the words that the poet has put into the mouth of David! David turns to Saul and says:
“O Saul, it shall be
A Face like my face that receives thee; a Man like to me, Thou shalt love, and be loved by, forever. A Hand like this hand Shall throw open the gates of new life to thee, See the Christ stand!” . . as he stands before Saul.
[Robert Browning, “Saul,” Sec. XVIII]
Browning could only have written those words after he had experienced it. So many of the great poets are writing from experience, and having the ability to tell it beautifully . . well, he is one who can tell it beautifully, and those were the words he put into the mouth of David of Biblical fame. Then memory returns. After all, Paul’s first name was Saul, from the same tribe of Benjamin; and that was Saul . . King Saul.
But King Saul was demented, and so was Paul’s first aspect of life, because he took everyone who followed this way and persecuted them. So his mind was demented. Then he heard the Voice say, “Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?” He called him Saul; and he said, “Who art thou, Lord?” He said, “I AM Jesus whom thou persecutest.” (Acts 9:4, 5) And then he was blinded, and when the blindness left him, he was converted and changed his name to Paul. A complete change of heart, which is nothing but a change of nature.
So, when memory returns, you are not the being that you were when you suffered from amnesia. Can you conceive looking into the face of one you love dearly . . your wife, your child, and not recognizing them? We have that in all of our hospitals: those with partial amnesia, where a section of time is blotted out, and those who have total amnesia who do not remember anything, and they give them all kinds of shocks trying to bring back some kind of memory. You go and you know them, but no matter what you do, you cannot persuade them that they are who you tell them that they are.
If tonight a man who had a million dollars, and you know that he has it, and his lawyer knows he has, and his banker knows that he has it, but he doesn’t know that he has, and he has a code that will not allow him to sign a check for something that he does not know that he has, he could not sign a check. If his ethical code denies that, he would not sign it for a dollar, but he could sign it and have it honored for a million dollars. So, that’s how we are.
Are there any other questions, please? Well, the time is almost up. This, I know, is entirely different, but, I tell you, we are mixing them up. Last night we gave you the Law, and tonight we have given you the Promise, so we are mixing them for the series. There are ten of them . . eight more to follow. Well, if there are no questions, there is no need for remaining. Thank you.
I know in my own case, I went to bed as innocent as I had in any previous day. It was a lovely day. I lectured to an audience of eleven hundred or twelve hundred. I went off to brunch, because I didn’t have breakfast, with two friends . . husband and wife. We went to a simple little place and had what I would call “breakfast.” There was no liquor served, and I didn’t feel like a drink at the time. I had a normal, simple breakfast: orange juice, bacon and eggs, and coffee. Then we went riding all through San Francisco. And that night a friend of mine who worked as a checker in the Fairmont Hotel, who had to be up early came through . . he had to be on the job, I think, between 4:30 and 5:00, checking all the food coming in. So, we had a very early dinner . . as early as the restaurant would allow; and we dined at the Sir Francis Drake where I was living. We had a roast beef dinner . . a simple dinner; roast beef and a baked potato. I did have a couple of Martinis, but may I tell you? That is only a beginning with me. I can go to many, and it doesn’t phase me at all. I can take five or six; it doesn’t bother me. I had two Martinis . . simply whetting my little tongue. Then I went upstairs because he had to go early. And then at about 9:00 o’clock I called my wife, who was living in Beverly Hills, and then put him on the wire because we are all friends; and then he said goodbye a little after 9:00.
After he left, then I undressed and got ready for bed. I was too early; so I read a little Blake, and then I turned to my Bible; and I must have turned in about 11:00.
At 4:00 in the morning, this strange, peculiar vibration began in my head . . something I had never felt before. And my interpretation of what I felt was, “This must be a massive hemorrhage.” I never had anything wrong with me physically of that nature, but I thought this must be what they call a “massive hemorrhage,” . . this must be it, because I couldn’t see how I could survive what I was feeling. My head began to vibrate, and the whole thing was simply like an enormous vibration. Instead of blowing my brains, I began to awake. But instead of waking on the bed as I thought I would, I awoke within my skull! And here I am, completely entombed within my skull, and I knew my skull to be a tomb. I was a sepulcher. I was completely entombed within it, all alone. And then from the horizontal position, I arose within my skull, and my one consuming urge was to get out. And I knew exactly what I ought to do: push the base of my skull from within.
Well may I tell you? . . all things being relative, when I awoke within my skull, it was a place big enough, say, about a quarter of this room here, and it was my skull! And I stood up within my skull . . a place about the area of a quarter of this room. I knew exactly where the base was. I pushed it from the inside, and something rolled away from the outside. As we are told, “And the stone rolled away.”
Then I knew what to do. I put my head through the little opening, and I pushed it; and then I squeezed myself out like a little child coming through the womb of a woman, . . only instead of through the womb of a woman, this was out of my own skull! When I was almost out, I pulled the remaining portion of me out of my skull.
Then I stood up and looked back at this [indicating the physical body] out of which I came, and it was ghastly pale, as told us in Jeremiah:
“Can a man bear a child?”
The obvious answer is, No. “Why, then, do I see every men drawing himself out of himself just like a woman in labor? And why does every face turn ghastly pale?”
Well, the face was just as white as snow as I came out of it. And then the entire drama unfolded around me. There were witnesses to the event, but they could not see me because God was born at that moment. The sign of my “birth” was there; the child they could see. And I saw the child and could take it in my arms. But they could not see me because “God is Spirit,” and no mortal eye can see Him. So, they could not see the one that was born at that moment. It’s God-in-man that is buried. It is God-in-man, which is the “I” of man . . the personal pronoun “I.” That’s God-in-man, and that is “born.” It awakens in him and comes out. The pattern by which He does it all is told us in Scripture, and it is recorded as the story of Jesus Christ. Well, Jesus Christ refers to himself constantly as the Son of Man.
“Who do men say that the Son of Man is?” And when they answered, concerning men, he did not answer. He asked another question: “Who do you say that I AM?” So, he equates himself with the Son of Man.
Then one answered and said, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” “Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood did not reveal this unto you, but my Father who is in heaven.” And “I and my Father are one.” So, I revealed it to you. I allowed you to know Who-I-Am. That’s what he is saying.
That same drama takes place in you. So, I am telling you, everyone in this world is going to awaken, not only as the Lord Jesus Christ, but as God Himself, for the Lord Jesus Christ is God. That is the story of Scripture, but man has not understood it. And today when you see Monday morning’s paper, you’ll read all this palaver, all this nonsense, concerning Scripture . . concerning the signs that are coming because some rumor of war . . this goes on forever. This is the conflict. It is after the tribulation of human experience that it happens. And through “hell.” You will have glimpses of it at the very end because then you can stand it. But, oh, the things you have suffered in this world! The things you have come through . . it is good and merciful that you cannot remember them.
You are walking this earth as you did this day. You least expect it, because you were taught – as I was taught – it took place two thousand years ago. And you go to sleep as I did in 1959 in this city across the street at the hotel called the Sir Francis Drake. I spoke in the morning to an audience of maybe a thousand people. It was an open meeting – no charge, a voluntary effort, and a thousand came. The morning of July the 20th 1959, this is what happened.
On Sunday – this was the 19th – a friend of mine joined me for an early dinner at the hotel at 5:00 o’clock. We went upstairs and I called Beverly Hills to speak to my wife and daughter, and he was a friend of my wife and daughter; and we simply spoke. He was working at the Fairmont as a checker. He said, “I have to go early because I have to be up early to check the waiters in and the food in.” So he left early, and I retired. I must have been in bed – oh, before eleven. It was a normal day, just like today, and at four o’clock in the morning a vibration is in my head that I have never felt before – the strangest vibration. Every bone in my head is rattling, and I entertained this thought. I thought, “Well, now, this is it,” meaning – this is my exit from this world. This must be a massive hemorrhage as they describe a massive hemorrhage.
Instead of that, I found myself waking. Here I am, waking – waking, but when I completely awoke, I am in my skull, and my skull is a tomb. It is an actual tomb, and I am in my skull, and the skull is sealed. There is no opening. I am fully awake, as I have never been awake before – as though I had been sleeping for unnumbered centuries, and now for the first time in this long, long sleep, I am awake. I arose, believe it or not – I am not a little tiny thing, I am the same being that I know myself to be, and I rise, and I stand within my skull. Here is this little thing – I only wear a seven hat – so it’s not this. It’s a skull, it’s my skull, but I awaken within it. I am fully standing in my skull, and I know I am sealed in. But I also have an innate knowledge and I know that if I could push the base of my skull, something would give, and I did. I pushed it and something rolled away, leaving a little opening. And I took my head and pushed it at the opening and squeezed it through – inch by inch; and when I got this much out, I then pulled the remaining portion of me out of my skull.
And here, when I got out, for a few seconds I was on the ground. Then I rose and looked back at that from which I had emerged. It was this body. It was ghastly pale, and the head was turning from side to side as one in recovery from a great ordeal. I looked at it, and here I am standing, and then the most unearthly wind – you can’t describe it, it’s a peculiar wind. You hear it, it sounds like a hurricane. It sounds like some peculiar storm. For a moment, I thought it originated to my left, so I turned from the body that was going this way – just the head – and looked over to the corner.
As I did so, thinking, “Is it coming from there?” it is still in my head, but it is divided. It is here and it’s still in the corner.
I looked back – I could not have been diverted more than a few seconds – and the body is gone. It disappeared, but in its place sat my three elder brothers. My oldest brother Cecil sat where the head was. My second brother Victor sat where the right foot was. My third brother Lawrence sat where the left foot was. They do not see me. I not only see them, I can read their thoughts. Their thoughts are objective to me. They are as objective as you are. Whatever they think I can see it, I hear it and see it. But to them, I am invisible; I am not present.
My brother Lawrence was the most disturbed by this peculiar, unearthly wind. He got off the bed where the body was – but the body’s gone now, he started towards the same corner because he thought it came from there. He made not more than one or two steps when his attention is attracted by something on the floor, and looking down, he announced, “It is Neville’s baby.” My brothers Cecil and Victor said, “How can Neville have a baby?” He doesn’t argue the point. He lifts the infant wrapped in swaddling clothes from the floor and places it on the bed. I am still invisible to them and I lift that infant wrapped in swaddling clothes – lift it up in my invisible hands, far more powerful than any hand in this world, and this heavenly smile breaks upon its face as I ask it, “How is my sweetheart?” To me, it was the most glorious infant ever conceived, and I said, “How is my sweetheart?” And it broke into the heavenly smile, and the whole thing dissolved.
That is the sign – the first sign. You start counting from there now. This happened on the morning of the 20th of July, 1959 when the woman in me – which is the woman in every one which is called in Scripture, “Jerusalem from above,” “Zion;” this is the Great Mother that brings forth to freedom. You start counting from that day.
I’ll give you the next event. It was the sixth day of December of the same year, 1959. This time I’m back in my home in Beverly Hills. A vibration similar to this started, but strangely enough, it is not at the base of my skull – it’s at the top of my skull. It increases in intensity, and when it reaches the apex of intensity, I felt my head explode. As it exploded, here I am, seated in a modestly furnished room, and there, leaning against the side of an open door and looking out on a pastoral scene, is my son David of Biblical fame. There is David!
And there is no uncertainty as to the relationship between David and myself. It’s David, and I am his father, and he knows I am his father, and he also knows he is my son. I am looking at him, drinking him in. You’ve never seen such beauty – well, you can’t describe the beauty of David. And while I am feasting upon my son, a lad of about 12 or 13 – the whole thing dissolves.
Turn the calendar, now to the 8th day of April 1960. Again, I retire without any thought in mind that something is going to happen this night. I didn’t know what the next sign was. I knew these two had happened, but I didn’t anticipate them because I was never taught them. I didn’t see them in Scripture. I didn’t foresee it; it just happened.
On the morning of the 8th of April, a bolt of lightning – out of the blue – it struck me, and split me in two from the top of my head to the base of my spine – and here I am, parted. Two halves of the being called Neville; his whole body is parted right down the entire spine – every little thing is split in two. At the base of my spine is a body of golden liquid, living light. I contemplate it. As I contemplated it, I fused with it, and then, like a serpent of spiral light, I actually moved up my entire body right into my skull. I went up like a spiral of lightning into my skull. My head vibrated as no one could conceive. It was just simply that everything shook as I got into that head. Every bone began to rattle. That’s the 8th [of April].
Then for two years and nine months, no vision – a few, but not the important ones, then, came the morning of the 1st of January 1963 – on that morning, suddenly my head became luminous. There was no circumference; there was no limit – completely luminosity. And floating above me about twenty feet is a dove – a beautiful beige dove. But it’s floating; it is not flying. There is no motion of wings, no motion of the body – just floating as a duck would float on water. And here it is above me about twenty feet. Why I did it, I do not know, but automatically I raised my left hand and held this index finger. As I did this, the dove slowly descended upon my finger. I brought it to my face and it smothered me with kisses, all over my face, my neck, and my head.
If I told you now that you are sound, sound asleep, you wouldn’t believe me. I would not have believed it either if anyone had told me on the night of the 19th day of July in the year 1959. I was in this City. If you had told me the night I went to bed . . it was the 19th of July 1959 . . that I was sleeping, and the world was my dream, and that I was dreaming this dream of life, I would have laughed at you. And, yet, I’ve been telling this story of God’s law since my first time on the 2nd day of February 1938. I had been telling it week after week, and I did not know it! I only knew the Law. I knew nothing of God’s Promise. I did not realize that His Promise really entails His Self . . that He actually gave me Himself. I didn’t know that.
I went to sleep here in the hotel . . the Sir Francis Drake, and had anyone told me . . the greatest authority in the world, I would not have believed it. And, yet, on the morning of the 20th the whole drama erupted within me. It began with the Resurrection; I awoke within my own skull to find myself completely sealed within this sepulchre that is my skull. It is Golgotha, and I had been dreaming all along, and I didn’t know it.
I have never been so amazed in my whole life. Here I am, completely sealed in my own skull, and I knew it to be a tomb, and I knew that someone placed me there. I did not know that God Himself entered death’s door with me when I entered, and that He laid Himself down within the tomb with me and shared with me this dream of life. And then He actually broke down the dividing wall between the two, and fused with me, and we became one Being. And, then, He awoke as me. He actually awoke within me as my very Being.
Then I came out of that tomb like a child being born from the skull . . from the tomb . . of man, where God is buried. I can tell you now, the world is a dream, and you are The-Dreamer-of-the. . Dream. You can change the dream if you know you are dreaming, but if you don’t know you are dreaming, you can’t change the dream. If you know it’s a dream, you can dream, because the power of The Dreamer is in you. And that Dreamer is God.
You can bring before your mind’s eye what the world would call a daydream . . it’s still a dream . . and you can give reality to that daydream until it will objectify itself and become real in your world, but you are still dreaming. You are dreaming until that moment in time when God, Who is the Lord Jesus Christ, awakes within you. And, then, as He awakes within you, you are all alone, but He has the power to come out and break the seal of that tomb, and you do know exactly what you are doing, and you are breaking it. Another doesn’t break it. You break it. No one on the outside rolls away the stone. You roll it away from within. You push the base of your skull, and something rolls. As it rolls, there is an opening . . not a very large opening, but you put your head there, and you push yourself out, inch-by-inch-by inch, and then you pull the remaining portion of you out of that skull. And when you rise, you look back, and here is the body that your mother had woven for you, signified in Scripture as the “linen clothes.”
And then the wind . . the unearthly wind spoken of in the 3rd chapter of the book of John. (John 3:8, RSV) “You must be born from above; for unless you are born from above, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” (John 3:3) And, then, the wise man of the Sanhedrin . . and he asks, “How can this be? How can a man who is old enter once more into his mother’s womb and be born? And he said, ‘You, a master of Israel, yet you do not know? Unless you are born from above, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.’” (John 3:9, 10)
Now he makes this marvelous statement, “No one has ascended into heaven but he who descended.” (John 3:13 RSV) But no one but he who descended! The One Being carries all of us within Him. And, then, in this stage we become That One Being, and now we ascend into Heaven. And this is how you ascend.
He tells us now . . He says, “No one has ascended into heaven, but He who has descended, the Son of Man.” (John 3:13) That which came out of man is one with the Creator of man, which is Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can ascend. And he is called the Son of Man, and he refers to himself as the “Son of Man.”
Now, he says in the next verse, “As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up.” (John 3:14)
Now, a hundred and twenty-three days after David calls you, “Father,” a bolt of lightning tears your body in two from the top of your head to the base of your spine. One blow, and you are cut . . no pain, no pain whatsoever . . just one sharp blow of a bolt of lightning and you look at the body, and it’s torn from top to bottom, and it is separated about six inches. At the base of that spine is golden, pulsing, liquid light.
Now, we are told, “At this moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” (Matthew 2:51 RSV) People think it was a church made with human hands. No, it is the Temple of God, and we are told in I Corinthians, the 3rd chapter, the 16th verse, “Ye are the temple of the living God, and the spirit of God dwells in you.” (I Corinthians 3:16)
Well, if you are the Temple of the Living God, and the curtain of that temple is split in two, you are split in two from top to bottom! And you see this pulsing, golden, liquid light. It is the blood of God Himself. Now, you fuse with the blood of God. You are the blood of God. Now you ascend as a fiery serpent, like fire, itself, spiraling up that spine right into heaven. And when you enter, you enter like thunder. As we are told in Scripture, “And those who enter, enter like thunder.” (See Matthew 11:12; Luke 16: 16 RSV)
The whole thing reverberates when you enter. And you are that fiery being that goes up. Only he who descended can ascend, and only Jesus Christ descended. He was the One Man who “chose us in Him before the foundation of the world,” (Ephesians 1:4) and He was God the Father, and He chose all of us in Him, and then one man fell and became fragmented. We are the fragmented body of the Lord Jesus Christ.
There is only one way for the redemption, and He has mapped it out in Scripture. He played the part and brought it to its climax, and now the pattern of that play is buried in us. We receive it in us, and we simply go right up into the skull, and you are the Lord Jesus Christ, once more rebuilding the temple that He deliberately shattered.
Then, nine hundred and ninety-eight days later, completing the cycle of one thousand two hundred and sixty days . . as told us in the 12th chapter of Daniel and the 12th chapter of Revelation . . from the birth of the child, from the birth of the child, as told us in Revelation, when this miraculous child appears, it will take twelve hundred and sixty days, and on that twelve hundred and sixtieth day the heavens open . . and Heaven is within you. Your skull opens. Everything becomes translucent. There is no circumference, but none whatsoever! It’s not bounded by anything . . a complete infinity of translucence. Complete . . well, you describe it; there is no boundary, and that’s your skull. And then hovering over you, say about twenty feet above you, as though floating, is a dove. This heavenly dove floating . . it’s not using its wings; it is simply floating. Therefore, it must be on fluid, for it’s floating. And you look up, and its eye catches your eye. The most heavenly love is pouring from the eye right into your eye, and you do it automatically . . you raise your hand. In my case, I raised my left hand and protruded the index finger, and it simply descended. It descended and lit on my finger, and I brought it automatically to my face, and it smothered me with love, kissing me all over my face, all over my neck, all over my head, and while it is kissing me, a woman to my left made the statement, “They avoid man, for man gives off the most offensive odor. But to prove and demonstrate his love for you, he penetrated the ring of offense and came down to demonstrate his love for you.” And while he was still kissing me, the scene dissolved.
The whole thing actually begins and ends in man, and that’s the drama. Then you remain in this world, and you tell your story to the best of your ability. If you are a painter, you’ll paint it. If you can write, you will tell it to the best of your ability in writing. If in some other way you could fashion it in the form of a sculpture, you will. If you cannot express it in some artistic manner then you will tell it to the best of your ability to those who will listen. But the journey . . as far as you are concerned, the journey is over.
Then, in a moment when you do not expect it, He will call you back. Now, you do not find yourself as the world without this experience will find themselves, for everyone in the world will be redeemed, but this is the plan of redemption, and if the plan has not yet unfolded within the individual, at what he calls death, that individual is restored to life in a world just like this . . terrestrial, in a body just like this, only it is young . . unaccountably new. Nothing is missing, eyes are perfect, teeth perfect, the body is perfect. Everything is perfect; not a thing is missing, regardless of the condition of the body when we called it dead. . to continue a journey that started in this world, for it’s the same world . . this identical world, and you will do there what you do here, and then what I am telling you now, when you least expect it, as it came to me so suddenly . . it will come to you just as suddenly. As we are told in Scripture, “He comes like a thief in the night.” (I Thessalonians 5:2)
You don’t expect Him when He comes. He calls you from the dream of life, and you awake within the tomb where you were buried. So, all of us were buried in Golgotha, and Golgotha is your skull. But there is a Universal Skull. It’s called “Zion” in Scripture. In the 87th Psalm, it says, “This one was born here and that one was born there, and these were born here and he points out within Zion, and Zion is the home of the Lord Jesus Christ. All are born at this one point within the Universal Skull, but your skull, individually, is but a replica of the Universal Skull. If I could pinpoint for you with my finger where, when I ascended, I actually reverberated, it would be a little bit left of the straight line, if I drew a straight line down my forehead. It was just a little bit left of my skull, right here [indicating].